Funny

Of all the inventions of the last 100 years, the dry erase board has to be the most remarkable. In America, using the metric system can get you in legal…

I hate my job—all I do is crush cans all day. It’s soda pressing. Where do pirates get their hooks? Second hand stores.

“What’s your name, son?” The principal asked his student. The kid replied, “D-d-d-dav-dav-david, sir.” “Do you have a stutter?” the principal asked. The student answered, “No sir, my dad has…

A son tells his father, “I have an imaginary girlfriend.” The father sighs and says, “You know, you could do better.” “Thanks Dad,” the son says. “That means a lot.”…

I tried to explain to my 4-year-old son that it’s perfectly normal to accidentally poop your pants. But he’s still making fun of me. I wasn’t close to my father…